So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
