...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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