Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
