it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
