Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
