I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
