I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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