We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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