doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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