Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
