somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
