I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
