I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
