do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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