super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
