Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
