wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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