It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
