nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
