Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
