Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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