handjob tips. give me some.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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