She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
