I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
