i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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