I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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