He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
