My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
