his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
