I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
As shirtless as possible
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
