Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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