I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
