So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
