Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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