I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
