Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
