I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
