Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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