Swine flu is the new snow day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
