this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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