And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
