You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
