Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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