So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
