dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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