New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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