they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
