i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
