Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
