My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
