K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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