i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
