Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
